That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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