hell yes lets make some ravioli
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
