THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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