Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
