There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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