I'm jealous of your bromance
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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