Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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