Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
