i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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