Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
