i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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