remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
