Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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