You're so nebulous sometimes
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The cops high fived after they tackled you
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
