i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
PANTIES FOUND
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize