he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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