He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my vag is so smooth its legendary
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
His hands were made for my vagina.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
