Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
