Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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