I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
