I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
