i can't believe i had my finger in that
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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