this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
