You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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