I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
