"it" just moved
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
