Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I touched a dick in church today
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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