Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
