I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
