false alarm. still invincible.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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