So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just had sex on a roof
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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