did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
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