i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
