I molested 6 butterflies tonight
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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