Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
