we're blogging at a bar
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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