No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
