She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
