Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
