Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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