You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
