I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
