Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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