I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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