I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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