My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
