thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
