i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
