Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
why do cheetos always look like penises
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
