How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
