I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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