It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
