First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
