at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
