remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
