Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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