fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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