Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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